I wanted to be the first to tell you happy birthday, although I know you’re no longer on this earth. I wanted to say I’m sorry for the times you wanted to braid my hair at night so it would be nice and wavy the next day “in case I met my future husband.” You were always trying to set me up with your doctor or that preacher’s boy. You sure thought I hung the moon.

The truth is, I failed you. I spent my entire life wrapped around your neck and adored every single thing about you, but when I grew up I was young and dumb and started spending more time running the roads than just soaking in the simple pleasures of life that you instilled in me.

I want you to know I quit beating myself up for that though. I now see the beauty in myself that you always did. I recognize my flaws, but I now see a pretty smile when I look in the mirror.

I wanted to thank you for always making sure my hair was braided perfectly for every game. Thank you for surprising me with a stylist when I was on Sweetheart Court. Thank you for every single picture you took, because now I have all of these trails of memories.

Thank you for buying walkie talkies so I could talk to that first love.

Thank you for all the breakfasts that tasted better than any restaurant ever has…. I now know what it means to eat food “made with love.”

Thank you for teaching me how to see the best in everyone, and because of you I can see the best in myself- even when I make mistakes.

It is because of you that I went back to school. I’m sorry I didn’t take that scholarship when you begged me to, but I wanted to be close with you too when Mama and Daddy split. I knew you needed me, and even though I went off track for a while I still had you at the end of the day to kiss my forehead as I fell to sleep in that warm bed beside you. I will never forget those days.

The world got colder when you left. You always warned me that harder days were coming. Nothing has been easy since you left, and I’m not going to lie- your birthday is a very hard day for us all. Yet because of your love and selflessness in this life, we are able to set aside our selfish ways to focus on celebrating your memory.

I will cry. I am crying right now as I write this. I am overfilled with sadness of your being gone, joy at the thought of your memory and gratefulness because of what you instilled in your family and the legacy you left behind.

My hero isn’t a celebrity. It isn’t some corporate businessman. Did I ever tell you you’re my hero? You’re everything I wish I could be. I can fly higher than an eagle, ’cause you are the wind beneath my wings.

I will soar with you one day, because you know I’ve always been a free spirit. That’s how I know you have wings…. because you know my feet have never fully stayed on the ground, and I know you’re waiting for me to join you so our spirits can fly.

I miss you more every single day. I thank God he let me be with you when you took your very last breath. You breathed life into every single one of us.

Happy birthday Memaw. I’ll see you on the other side. I promise when I do there won’t be a second I don’t spend with you. 💜

Thank you for teaching me how to be a real and strong woman who loves fiercely. You are everything beautiful. Kiss Aunt Dean for me, and tell Papaw I’ll be there to out-fish him one day. I hope you and him are tearing up that dance floor like you always did down here.