One of the regulars at work came in this afternoon, and as I shared how my Daddy helped me dye my hair I saw his face light up. He listened as I told a daughter and her father how my Pops helped me, and when we were through talking he walked up and began to share with me how his Dad passed away last April. As his eyes teared up, he said he still misses him every day. We both shared how we felt lucky to have good parents in life, but I cannot get over seeing that grown man weep over his father.

As I pondered throughout the rest of the work day, I could not help but know that one day I will not have my parents. How on earth would I make it every day without talk to my Mama? What would I do without getting that phone call each evening from my Papa just to see if I had a good day and was okay? As I get older, the inevitable truth of life stings more and more. I am scared. I am scared to lose either of them. It takes so much risk to love, because one day we will lose those people we love in life. … and one day, people will lose me.

About a week ago, Daddy brought up how he is forgetful these days. It is something we both know is happening, but we have not really talked about it much. I do not want to accept it. Daddy thinks about it, but he pushes it to the back of his mind so as not to dwell on it. As he talked of how his Mother had Alzheimer’s, I could see pain in his eyes. Will I one day feel the same pain as him? Will my Daddy go through the same road his Mama did? Am I worrying too much over something that does not exist? I would like to think so, but I do not know. I fear that the worrying is valid. As my voice cracked through fighting the tears that came anyway, I said to him, “Daddy, I do not want to think of a day when you do not know who I am. I do not ever want to think of that.” Age has softened his heart so much, and his words comforted me: “Honey, I would never forget who you are. My heart wouldn’t let me. And when my time comes to leave this world, I will be in Heaven waiting on you, your sister, my grandbabies…”   “Oh, Daddy”, I sighed. The tears streamed down my cheeks.

The greatest debate of life is a question that racks all of our brains. What happens when we die? Do we really get to see loved ones again? Is this it for our pets once they take their last breath on this earth? So many of us have different beliefs and opinions of what happens after death, yet no one fully knows the answer until they die. That is a lot to think about. My faith allows me the peace of mind in feeling that there is a place beyond our mortal flesh. To me, God is real. I feel that spirit. It is that voice of reason that tells me right from wrong and allows me to hold my actions accountable.

I just want to love the people I care about in my life to the very fullest. I know there are risks involved. I know that my heart will break if I lose any of those precious souls. Yet I need them. I need that love. I crave it in my life. Every human being in the world wants love. We were born to feel it. That is why it is such a powerful emotion. My parents are a love that I will have forever. It has been there since I was born, and they will never change their feelings towards me. It is sacred.

The love for a soulmate is a completely different type of love from family. It feels like fire, but the good kind of burn like a smooth shot of whiskey or a perfect hot tea with honey just before it is cool enough to drink. Daddy said true love should never hurt, though. He is right. There are hardships. There are disagreements. There are challenges that make your relationship or break it. Yet, when two people love each other, they will find a way to avoid the hurt. They will learn to work those barriers out, and they grow. To hurt the other hurts your own soul, so you both strive for understanding and growth if you truly are in love. I have learned that this is the greatest truth my Daddy ever told me, and he has taught me many.

We live life taking so many breaths and moments for granted. I have grown quite fond of learning to take my life day by day. The worry and stress I once possessed has been replaced with assurance and peace. I am not saying everything in my life is perfect. Nothing will ever be perfect, but how boring would that be? My soul is happy, because it is at peace. I have accepted what I cannot change in life. I have learned not to be too hard on myself, yet because of good parents I know how to hold myself accountable.

If there is anything in life I have learned to love doing, it is to let go of yesterday but value the memory, yet I have learned to live for today. Tomorrow may never come. I could be six feet under before the next six hours of sunlight come.

Never get tired of hearing “I love you” from someone who means it. At the same time, never assume someone knows you love them without saying it. Actions prove the part, but words warm the heart. Say it before it is too late. Tell the person you love exactly how you feel, as much as you can. It is so so so important. I wish I could bring my sweet Memaw back and tell her everything I feel, but luckily we always said I love you. We never let the sun go down with anger in our hearts, and those words she preached – but more importantly, practiced- still ring in my head. Make sure they know. Make sure they know what your heart feels.

If you are reading this, think about your life. Think of where you have came from, and think of where you have been. Now look at where you are now. We are not supposed to think of what we would change about the past. Instead, we are encouraged to refer to the past for guidelines on how to grow as a person and make better decisions, and we have to find that happiness that life is all about. It is there. It is not in a mortgage payment or a credit card, either.

Be the love that you want to get in life. Be that love. Give it out with your whole heart. I have found that the times in life that I have expressed kindness over anger have appeased my soul far more than letting the red flag rage. It is so much harder to be nice to someone when they are mean to you, but in reality I really see that those people need to see that sweet heart beat.

Whatever I do today, I want to wake up tomorrow and be a better person than I was today. Every day is one step closer to maintaining a state of nirvana with our souls.